So I am not perfect. I have my flaws just like everyone else in this world. Some people dwell on them and others use them to their own advantages. I am one of those people who dwells on my flaws. It’s been something I’ve dealt with since I was in grade school.
Here I am on the edge of 30 years old and I’m still hung up on many things that plagued me as a child. One would think I’d be over something as childish as appearances. But I’ve always been stuck on my own looks and how others see me. I can’t get over it. You don’t know how many times I’ve changed outfits and worked on my hair till I’ve gotten things right. I’m not vain, actually I am far from it. I’m on the other end of the spectrum, insecure. I hate the way I look and come across to others.
It basically goes back to the days when I was picked on for how I looked when I was in school. I was the nerdy unpopular kid for so many years it was pathetic. I wasn’t psychologically strong enough to ignore the insults or use them to make me a stronger and better person. Instead they just tore at me for years. So I’ve managed to gain some foothold on my looks and feelings to some degree. But still to this day it screws with my head.
Some might ask if I’ve sought help or thought about seeking help for my issues. But frankly these are things I must deal with on my own. No amount of therapy would help me.
Does any of this make sense?
